Smooth
by SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot
Summary: Kurt is a mess. Blaine is beautiful. Will they ever have a non-embarrassing interaction?


**Based off a Tumblr post linked in full on the crosspost on my blog.**

* * *

For a brief moment, Kurt thought the bus he was on had been in some kind of terrible crash and he was in the afterlife, because a man who could only have been an angel had just sat down across from him.

Without thinking about it, Kurt smiled widely at the man, because he looked almost - familiar?

 _No,_ Kurt realized a moment later. _I don't know him. I just...want to._

The Most Beautiful Man In The World, as Kurt had just decided to call him, smiled back. He even waved politely, not looking freaked out by Kurt's overly broad grin in the slightest.

Kurt's heart started doing a polka in his chest. He quickly dropped his gaze to his phone, pulling up the first social media app he could find to distract himself until his stop, where he got off on autopilot.

When he finally glanced back up, though, he saw TMBMITW (fuck, maybe that acronym was going to be unwieldy) a few paces in front of him. Kurt practically dropped his phone when he took in the sight of the dark haired man's curvy ass in motion.

 _And he lives somewhere close by,_ Kurt thought as he followed the man down the few streets to his apartment building. _Not sure if that's going to be great or terrible._

Finally, the man turned into a building.

 _Kurt's_ building.

 _Great._

* * *

"This is _terrible_ ," Kurt moaned, a week later.

"Elaborate," Rachel said, bringing in two mugs of tea from the kitchen.

"I told you about The Most Beautiful Man In The World, right?" Kurt asked, gladly accepting a mug.

"Mmhm."

"Well, I just ran into him again," Kurt said. "So now I'm going to have to move at least three states away and possibly change my name."

"What? Why?" Rachel asked.

"Rach. Did you not see how I looked when I got home?" Kurt said, raising an eyebrow. He knew his button-down and shorts had been absolutely _soaked_ with sweat when he'd gotten back, and anyone with working eyes should have noticed.

"I _was_ wondering if you'd fallen into a fountain somewhere or something," Rachel admitted, taking a sip of her own drink.

"No, I ended up biking home from work - long story - and got disgustingly overheated, since it's unseasonably warm out," Kurt said, taking a sip of his own before continuing, "So of course, I run into this guy in the elevator. I probably smelled like a _barnyard_ , and God only knows what he thought I was doing beforehand."

"Maybe he's into the smell of livestock?" Rachel offered hesitantly.

Kurt glared so hard he swore the living room got colder.

"Just trying to help!"

* * *

Kurt muttered a string of obscenities as he darted into the elevator, holding his stained shirt out in front of him with both hands.

"Um...are you okay?" someone asked.

"Yeah, it's just-" Kurt froze abruptly when he looked up and saw it was TMBMITW.

"Do I need to call 911?" the man said, getting a concerned look on his face. He whipped out his phone, making Kurt wonder dazedly how pants that tight managed to have the pocket room for anything larger than a lip balm.

"Wh - no, no, it's not blood," Kurt said quickly. "I had a bit of an accident at the new Mexican place down the street."

"Oh. Oh thank God," TMBMITW said, exhaling deeply and putting his phone back in his pocket. "I thought you were about to die right here in this elevator, and _that's_ possibly the most tragic thing that could happen in this situation."

Kurt laughed as the elevator doors _dinged_ open on his floor. "I refuse to die in this deathtrap, no worries!"

TMBMITW laughed as well, making Kurt stumble a bit as he got out of the elevator. When he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror as he went to find a clean shirt, he thought his cheeks might be redder than the salsa stain down his front.

* * *

Kurt was ready for a proper night in alone. He'd DVRed a _Cupcake Wars_ marathon and walked to the convenience store down the block to pick up two absolutely massive bags of pre-popped popcorn and a king-size Three Musketeers, which he'd started to eat on the walk back to his building.

"Having a party?" the doorman asked politely as Kurt approached.

"No, this is literally all mine," Kurt said around his mouthful of chocolate, giving him a thankful nod. "I had to be prepared for my TV marathon tonight."

The second he finished speaking, he noticed TMBMITW just inside the lobby, definitely within earshot of Kurt's gluttonous statement. TMBMITW was dressed to go out, too, making Kurt flush as he remembered that he was clad only in sweatpants and an old Hummel Tires and Lube t-shirt.

"God," he said under his breath, practically knocking TMBMITW over as he raced inside. "Could you be any more of a loser, Hummel?"

He thought he heard TMBMITW say something as he headed for the elevator, but he didn't even try to make out what it was. There was no need to embarrass himself further by butting into a conversation that probably wasn't directed at him.

As he took the elevator back to his apartment, he realized an unflattering picture of himself was being painted - every time he ran into TMBMITW, he was disheveled and covered in either sweat or food.

"Just kill me now," he said quietly, feeling his blush darken back up. "Just let the ground open up and kill me now."

He had no such luck.

* * *

Kurt grabbed his backpack by the handle and walked to the elevator, grateful that it was light enough to carry instead of wear for once. As he waited for the doors to close, he flicked through the pile of mail he'd just picked up, opening a letter at random. The change in hand position made him fumble his backpack for a moment.

"Hey now," he told it. "Don't do that."

He continued opening the envelope, making his backpack fall to the ground in front of him.

"Why? Why would you do that when I just told you not to? Do you _like_ being on the ground?" he asked it, feeling unreasonably irked.

A giggle from the other side of the elevator made him jump and flush.

"Sorry," TMBMITW said, putting a hand over his (lush) mouth. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, it's just - I didn't realize another person was in here," Kurt replied, trying not to just gape like a landed fish.

There was an awkward silence until the elevator clanked to a halt.

"This is me," Kurt said, gesturing out the door. "Um...bye?"

He kicked his backpack as he tried to leave, making him flush deeper as he stooped to pick it up and hustle off the elevator. When the doors shut behind him, he leaned against the wall, using all of his self-control to not stand there for the rest of his life beating his head against it.

* * *

"I don't understand how I never see him when I actually look like a functional human being," Kurt said into his phone as he walked home. "Why can't I see him today? I'm well-dressed and clean and not carrying anything I can drop. I could probably make real conversation today if I saw him."

"The world works in mysterious ways," Mercedes said on the other end of the line. "You never know!"

"No, I _definitely_ know," Kurt said, scowling even though Mercedes couldn't see. "I only ever see this guy when I look like an absolute garbage can or sound like a fool. As long as I dress well and try not to speak before I think, I'll never see him, which is _terrible_ , because I'd really like for him to know that I'm not a complete trainwreck of a person!"

"It'll happen," Mercedes said soothingly. "You live in the same building, he'll _have_ to see you on a normal day at some point or another."

"I have my doubts," Kurt grumbled. "But I hope you're right. Hey, speaking of my building, I just got home. I'll call you back when I'm off the elevator?"

"Sounds good, boo."

Kurt hung up and wandered toward the elevator, where there were a few other tenants waiting for it to arrive. As they all filed on, he tripped over the threshold, propelling him forward into another person and the both of them off the back wall of the elevator.

"Oof!"

"Sorry!" Kurt said, using the wall to push himself off the other person. "God, sorry, didn't mean to-"

The other person turned around, revealing that they were actually TMBMITW.

"It's okay," TMBMITW said with a smile. "Happens to everyone."

Kurt just stared.

"I'm Blaine, by the way," TMBMITW - _Blaine_ \- said. "I've meant to introduce myself for a while now."

"Kurt," Kurt said, feeling a bit stunned - Blaine actually wanted to know his name? "Apartment 5G."

"8J."

The doors opened onto Kurt's hallway.

"Oh, that's me," Kurt said, a bit redundant after just saying his address. He turned to get off, but he tripped over the threshold _again_ , sending him flying face first toward the dirty hall carpet. He closed his eyes for the impact, but instead, a solid arm caught him around the middle.

"Whoa there," Blaine said when Kurt opened his eyes. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm just a klutz," Kurt said as the doors _dinged_ shut behind them and the elevator moved on. "You're probably aware of my incompetence by now, though."

"What?" Blaine asked, eyebrows furrowing. When he realized he was still holding onto Kurt, he blushed and helped Kurt get fully upright before stepping away.

 _Can't blame him for getting away from me_ , Kurt thought before saying, "Literally every time we've seen each other, I've been covered in something disgusting or talking out loud to inanimate objects. I'm surprised you even wanted me to know your name."

"You have?" Blaine said, still confused. "I guess I haven't really noticed. Or I just thought it was-"

He broke off there, leaving Kurt to say, "You thought it was weird, I kn-"

"Weird? No, I thought it was cute," Blaine interrupted. "Or I just wanted to make sure you were okay. After that first day, on the bus-"

"You remember that?" Kurt asked, surprised.

"You smiled at me, and I suddenly felt at home," Blaine said. "I know that sounds weird, but...it's true."

"I thought I already knew you from somewhere," Kurt said. "Even once I realized we were strangers, I still were familiar somehow."

"Me too," Blaine said, looking at Kurt with earnest hazel eyes. "So ever since then, I've wanted to talk to you, but I thought you didn't want to-"

"I thought you'd think I was crazy!" Kurt cut in.

"Never," Blaine said.

They were quiet for a moment. The air seemed to take on a new charge around them.

"Would you like to come in for a drink?" Kurt asked.

"I'd love to."

Kurt ended up knocking the carton of loose-leaf tea all over himself and Blaine as he prepared their drinks, continuing his streak of incompetency. Blaine just laughed and gently wiped the leaves off of his cheek, though, helping Kurt truly start believing that Blaine thought his awkwardness was cute.

When their first kiss took place after Kurt ran down for a building-wide fire drill in a kangaroo onesie, that belief was solidified forever.


End file.
